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Sunday 26 July 2015

What happens if I am going to die in a year?

I am superstitious. Ummm.. well, I am basically cat on the wall. There was a time when I didn’t believe in these things and then came a time where I was forced to believe in superstition because the incidents that happened in my life made me believe it. Whenever someone tells me that they want to die or wonder how it is to die I ask them to shut up. I think it shouldn’t be told because you never know. There have been times when I think what if I die tomorrow? How will my friends react to it? Will the person I am dating right now think he missed someone awesome in life or will he be relieved? Will he start dating another girl immediately? (If he does I will haunt him as a ghost) You know... Stuff like that. Anyway, stop judging me now and read on.

So, if I had only a year to die what will I do? What will anybody do? Try to fulfil all their wishes, tick everything on their wishlist. I am sure they will get all emotional and cry. I know I will do that too. Actually I will cry so much and rant so much that my friends would wish they could die before me. But I don’t want to get too mushy!  Once I complained my best friend that he never asks me about my life. He told me, “All I had to do is say a “hi” and the entire set of events that happened in the time we didn’t talk will be infront of me. Thankfully you don’t know about your past birth otherwise I cannot imagine my pathetic situation” When I am going to die he cannot complain because I am good at blackmailing and emotionally torturing people. So here is my golden opportunity. I will torture him everyday (which I already do. But it will be a privilege to), every minute of the time I have to live L
I will hitchhike to Ladakh, Sikkim and Kashmir with my pretty, loveliest girlfriend who asked me to write this topic. (Disclaimer: I am not a lesbian and I can vouch for her as well). I might probably get my lazy ass out of the couch and start writing my novel and get it published. Then throw it on the face of everyone who criticized me and the way I write, like choke on my novel! I will use my sorry state to gain sympathy and meet all my favourite people in the planet. OK, before that I will make all my friends fly down to Chennai and spend a weekend with me. I have few hot friends who are single in both genders so they can find their matches in the get together. How benevolent of me!! (Now I know you guys wish I die! I won’t!) So then I will publish a message on social media sites for Benedict Cumberbatch and Jensen Ackles saying I have only a year to die and would love to meet them and spend a day with them L I am sure it will work!! :D  

I am selfish and if I am going to die in a year I will take all the money I have saved so far and spend them on travel. I will get dead drunk and call all the assholes I have met in my life one after another. I will use the choicest abuses to scold them and probably the entire generation for creating a disgrace like the assholes. I will go on a bike ride to some far away land with my favourite person where its’s only me and him and our feelings. I will ask people to speak the truth at least now because I am going to die and I don’t want them to speak stuff over my grave. Sadly, I won’t have a grave and I have donated my organs. Chances are that, I might not be able to hear you. Trust me, if you don’t say it when I am alive and even think of it when I am dead I will come and haunt you in your sleep!

As I write this, I think knowing that you will die after a year is not such a bad thing (kidding). I can get my friends to stop reminding me how demanding, stubborn and annoying I could be at times. I can make them be with me when I don’t want to let them go. I can meet Benedict Cumberbatch (What an optimist I am!) and basically get everything I want and make people smile because no matter, what a pain in ass I am I know my friends will miss me badly after I die. Afterall, who can talk for hours together and not bore you? :P Though I wish it never happens and you all have to put up with me for years to come. I love your faces when you are irritated with me! :P

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-          Robert Frost

1 comment:

  1. That was indeed a good read, List of your wishes poured in this page ! I just wish that you visit all the places in world that you want to travel ! :)

    ReplyDelete

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