For some reason this word irks
me! Especially, after hearing from my mom this morning that she is not going to
celebrate anybody’s birthday, their wedding anniversary or any festival for
that matter until I get married. I know she is really good at pulling such
stunts; well all mothers are, so she is no exception but I somehow hated to
hear something like that. Although I did not ask her why, the first question
that popped in my mind was, “How my marriage is even remotely connected to
these things?” And then my mind that was extremely jobless started pondering
over a lot of things connected to this word that has somehow managed to reach
the top of my hate list!
What is marriage? It is a binding
of two souls in a relationship; they are going to spend the rest of their lives
together, taking care of each other, sharing and caring yada… yada.. yada. OK,
so what is the big deal really? Well, I have lot of things to talk about this
big word which has become a big torture even before I get into the deal. First
of all, what are these matrimonial sites anyway? I find no difference between a
job search and a matrimonial website these days. There you specify the kind of
job you are looking for with your professional profile and here you give your personal
data yet you mention your salary and the place you work. Parents and even before
looking at how the guy looks scroll straight down to the professional details
of the person to see how much he earns. First of all, how do we know that the
person is genuine? And isn’t marriage about love and being friends for a
lifetime supporting each other? In that case, what is wrong in waiting for that
Mr. Right? I am not saying Mr. Perfect here because I know nobody is,
especially me! Oh! I am a mess. So the person who is actually born for me, well
they say he is already born shouldn’t he be searching for me as well? In that
case, why can’t I just wait for him to come to me or till I meet him? I find
arranged marriage some kind of business where the bride and groom have very
little say on things. Maybe I am wrong
but that’s what I see around me, the elders dominating their worlds in the name
of horoscope, dowry and many more. Sometimes I get so frustrated with seeing
the different profiles of so many guys that I feel like announcing in some
radio station or giving an advertisement in a newspaper saying, “Dear future husband,
wherever you are please come soon and you will be saved”
Secondly, I hate people giving me
that pitiful look when I tell them that I am 26 and I am not married. Why do
you even give me that look? I have not lost my husband for God’s sake! I just
didn’t find the right person for me yet. Once I had this crazy person
explaining me the medical consequences I might have to go through if I don’t
get married early. I told him on face that it is none of his business. Honestly,
it was not and I cannot force myself to marry some X or Y when I don’t even
like to see his face for a day.
They say things will happen when
it is destined to happen so why are we afraid of leaving things for life to
decide? People laugh when I say Marriage is just once in a lifetime and you
should be wise in choosing your partner. But that is the truth, you cannot
spend your life with a person you are not sure you like. Maybe they did in the
olden days but they cannot expect the same now. My mother for one has rejected
so many before getting married to my dad she had told it herself to me I use it
as a strong defense weapon whenever she starts a drama. I don’t understand why
people make it such a big deal here! I wish I have the freedom to decide my life
when it comes to marriage because it’s me who is going to tolerate the person
for a lifetime and I wish I can make few people understand that we have a lot of
things other than marriage to do in life, we have things to achieve, a passion
to accomplish and dreams to fulfill. I hear the girls who got married when they
were 22 or 23 calling me lucky. I don’t know if I am lucky but if I am I would
like to remain lucky till the love of my life sweeps me off my feet and hold me
in his arms J
hmm, everybody is right in their own thinking. Good write up. liked this one the most "My mother for one has rejected so many before getting married to my dad she had told it herself to me I use it as a strong defense weapon whenever she starts a drama." :)
ReplyDeletehaha! Thanks :)
Delete26 is ok :) U can wait for few more years. just chill :)
ReplyDeletehaha! Thank you Jahid :P
DeleteTotally hear you but this was what one of my friends had to say in favour of arranged marriage: "Why bother? let my parents find a guy for me and then if the marriage screws up I'll have atleast them to blame instead of me getting the 'told-you-so' taunts"
ReplyDeleteGood post. Following you :)
I have a different name for them I hope you could guess! thanks a lot! Oh yea I see that.. Glad that you like my blog.. thank you again for following! :)
DeleteHi Gayathri,
ReplyDeleteHAHA, the season of marriage is upon all the families, it's difficult escaping it now.
Fact is, the parents want to indulge themselves in fairy-tale weddings and rituals and expect freshly-baked, crisp new Bahus in their homes.
(yawn)....I suggest you get a nice thrilling novel to read or watch Dabanng 2 or MKBKM :)
That should elevate your mood a bit ;)
Regards
Jay
My Blog | My FB Page
May you find your Prince Charming soon, or may he find you.
DeleteJay - Thank you for the suggestions! :D I do them all the time ;)
DeleteChris - Thanks a lot! Oh yea.. wish he comes soon! :sigh: :(
DeleteHi Gayathri,
ReplyDeleteI read your entire post as fast as you have written it perhaps in one breath. You have put your thoughts very well and it is truly a matter of concern. In my book "A Guide to Spouse Selction", I have dealt with this topic. People do not buy even vegetables if they are not satisfied with their freshness, their look, size, shape or price whatever that they are looking for. How can a spouse be selected based on one or two facts like a six figure salary or a long and beautiful nose etc. Your comparision of the job search portal and the matrimonial portal is very apt. In some way the portals might be helpful but people are till hesitant to go for a deeper evaluation of persons before finalizing the marriage. The evil of dowry has added more fuel.
However, I do wish that God blesses you with the best person of your choice. If yous wish to get some additional informtion on this topic, I welcome you to my blog:
http://www.muslimweddingflight.com
There are two books that may give your further insight on marriage.
Have a blessed day.
Fayaz
Thank Fayaz for reading my blog! :)
DeleteHi Gayathri
ReplyDeleteI am 28 and my situation is the same. In fact, it seems like a race between starting my career and attempts of my parents to convince me for marriage first.You can't imagine the panic when they come to know of relatives' daughters getting married. Woe is me if any of them is younger than me. What is worse is within months, these girls get pregnant and add further pressure!!Anyway good luck dude.
haha! Thank you Bhavana and good luck to you too! :)
DeleteI can totally relate with you and I share the frustration. We are all united in our worries about marriage. So, cheers.. to waiting for that perfect guy.. May he come soon.. All the best Gayathri.. :)
ReplyDeleteAgree totally...with each word..:)
ReplyDelete