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Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Marriage!

For some reason this word irks me! Especially, after hearing from my mom this morning that she is not going to celebrate anybody’s birthday, their wedding anniversary or any festival for that matter until I get married. I know she is really good at pulling such stunts; well all mothers are, so she is no exception but I somehow hated to hear something like that. Although I did not ask her why, the first question that popped in my mind was, “How my marriage is even remotely connected to these things?” And then my mind that was extremely jobless started pondering over a lot of things connected to this word that has somehow managed to reach the top of my hate list!

What is marriage? It is a binding of two souls in a relationship; they are going to spend the rest of their lives together, taking care of each other, sharing and caring yada… yada.. yada. OK, so what is the big deal really? Well, I have lot of things to talk about this big word which has become a big torture even before I get into the deal. First of all, what are these matrimonial sites anyway? I find no difference between a job search and a matrimonial website these days. There you specify the kind of job you are looking for with your professional profile and here you give your personal data yet you mention your salary and the place you work. Parents and even before looking at how the guy looks scroll straight down to the professional details of the person to see how much he earns. First of all, how do we know that the person is genuine? And isn’t marriage about love and being friends for a lifetime supporting each other? In that case, what is wrong in waiting for that Mr. Right? I am not saying Mr. Perfect here because I know nobody is, especially me! Oh! I am a mess. So the person who is actually born for me, well they say he is already born shouldn’t he be searching for me as well? In that case, why can’t I just wait for him to come to me or till I meet him? I find arranged marriage some kind of business where the bride and groom have very little say on things.  Maybe I am wrong but that’s what I see around me, the elders dominating their worlds in the name of horoscope, dowry and many more. Sometimes I get so frustrated with seeing the different profiles of so many guys that I feel like announcing in some radio station or giving an advertisement in a newspaper saying, “Dear future husband, wherever you are please come soon and you will be saved”

Secondly, I hate people giving me that pitiful look when I tell them that I am 26 and I am not married. Why do you even give me that look? I have not lost my husband for God’s sake! I just didn’t find the right person for me yet. Once I had this crazy person explaining me the medical consequences I might have to go through if I don’t get married early. I told him on face that it is none of his business. Honestly, it was not and I cannot force myself to marry some X or Y when I don’t even like to see his face for a day.

They say things will happen when it is destined to happen so why are we afraid of leaving things for life to decide? People laugh when I say Marriage is just once in a lifetime and you should be wise in choosing your partner. But that is the truth, you cannot spend your life with a person you are not sure you like. Maybe they did in the olden days but they cannot expect the same now. My mother for one has rejected so many before getting married to my dad she had told it herself to me I use it as a strong defense weapon whenever she starts a drama. I don’t understand why people make it such a big deal here! I wish I have the freedom to decide my life when it comes to marriage because it’s me who is going to tolerate the person for a lifetime and I wish I can make few people understand that we have a lot of things other than marriage to do in life, we have things to achieve, a passion to accomplish and dreams to fulfill. I hear the girls who got married when they were 22 or 23 calling me lucky. I don’t know if I am lucky but if I am I would like to remain lucky till the love of my life sweeps me off my feet and hold me in his arms J

17 comments:

  1. hmm, everybody is right in their own thinking. Good write up. liked this one the most "My mother for one has rejected so many before getting married to my dad she had told it herself to me I use it as a strong defense weapon whenever she starts a drama." :)

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  2. 26 is ok :) U can wait for few more years. just chill :)

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  3. Totally hear you but this was what one of my friends had to say in favour of arranged marriage: "Why bother? let my parents find a guy for me and then if the marriage screws up I'll have atleast them to blame instead of me getting the 'told-you-so' taunts"

    Good post. Following you :)

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    1. I have a different name for them I hope you could guess! thanks a lot! Oh yea I see that.. Glad that you like my blog.. thank you again for following! :)

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  4. Hi Gayathri,

    HAHA, the season of marriage is upon all the families, it's difficult escaping it now.
    Fact is, the parents want to indulge themselves in fairy-tale weddings and rituals and expect freshly-baked, crisp new Bahus in their homes.
    (yawn)....I suggest you get a nice thrilling novel to read or watch Dabanng 2 or MKBKM :)
    That should elevate your mood a bit ;)

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My FB Page

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    1. May you find your Prince Charming soon, or may he find you.

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    2. Jay - Thank you for the suggestions! :D I do them all the time ;)

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    3. Chris - Thanks a lot! Oh yea.. wish he comes soon! :sigh: :(

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  5. Hi Gayathri,

    I read your entire post as fast as you have written it perhaps in one breath. You have put your thoughts very well and it is truly a matter of concern. In my book "A Guide to Spouse Selction", I have dealt with this topic. People do not buy even vegetables if they are not satisfied with their freshness, their look, size, shape or price whatever that they are looking for. How can a spouse be selected based on one or two facts like a six figure salary or a long and beautiful nose etc. Your comparision of the job search portal and the matrimonial portal is very apt. In some way the portals might be helpful but people are till hesitant to go for a deeper evaluation of persons before finalizing the marriage. The evil of dowry has added more fuel.

    However, I do wish that God blesses you with the best person of your choice. If yous wish to get some additional informtion on this topic, I welcome you to my blog:
    http://www.muslimweddingflight.com

    There are two books that may give your further insight on marriage.

    Have a blessed day.
    Fayaz

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    1. Thank Fayaz for reading my blog! :)

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  6. Hi Gayathri

    I am 28 and my situation is the same. In fact, it seems like a race between starting my career and attempts of my parents to convince me for marriage first.You can't imagine the panic when they come to know of relatives' daughters getting married. Woe is me if any of them is younger than me. What is worse is within months, these girls get pregnant and add further pressure!!Anyway good luck dude.

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    1. haha! Thank you Bhavana and good luck to you too! :)

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  7. I can totally relate with you and I share the frustration. We are all united in our worries about marriage. So, cheers.. to waiting for that perfect guy.. May he come soon.. All the best Gayathri.. :)

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  8. Very nice post.I found your blog to be very informative to your niche.Your blog is very interesting,and I really appreciate the readability that I’m sure you labor to put into your posts.I have also some productive information regarding very unique martimonial sites and Facebook Apps.If you want to know about Facebook Martimonial Apps , Weekly Marriage, Swayamvara ,Facebook Matrimonial than please visit www.marryinaweek.com .

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  9. Agree totally...with each word..:)

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So, what do you think? :)