The Irreplaceable

Today, I grieve the death of a person who has been very close to me than anyone else. It is his birthday today but he is not around to be wished or celebrate his birthday with us or for us to give him a surprise. This person has played an important role in my life. He has changed me, the way I look at myself and life. He likes to see everyone around him happy and I would say that’s a beautiful trait in a person. He never complains about anything and that is literally anything. If I ask him if he is OK with something because I know he is not, he would say I am privileged! I learnt a lot of things from him, through him and with him. The 5 years that we spent together in life is memorable and can never be forgotten. Few people in life are irreplaceable. They always say I couldn’t find a replacement for him/her the fact is you don’t have to! People are not replaceable. The place filled by one person remains empty when they leave. If it is not, they have not created an impact in your life. Atleast, that’s how I see it.

A little song I dedicate to this bestest, closest friend of mine who might never read it or maybe he will I don’t know...

So lonely yet happy I strode the streets

So different yet attractive you came along

So much of fights, so much of hatred

Yet you couldn’t stop looking at me

Too much to say, too little to express

I smiled at your bewitching gaze

You mesmerized the darker side of me

A person who promised to walk with me

A life that was waiting to unveil with every step we took

A love that was untold, a friendship that was family

A family that waited to be mine

A friend who never understood me

The playfulness that upset me

The care and love that stabilized you

The endless quarrels that led nowhere

We hated each other in a way to love each other more

I wanted to make you mine which you never saw

You were the wayward son and girls loved you

I waited for you hoping you would come

I opened my heart for you to see

You saw yourself and laughed at me

I was hurt and cried all night

I hid the tears behind my smile and listened about your dates

Mocking my love for you, you were gone so long

I let you go for I know you would come

You came when I was almost done

I saw that smile, the genuine love in your eyes

You didn’t want to accept defeat, you never uttered the word

I smiled back and told, ‘I knew you would come’

Not a word exchanged, not a tear spilled

The hug told everything it should

I knew what it was; I held your hand and we laughed

Your endless rants, your nonstop talks,

Your beautiful smile, those sparkling eyes

The way you feed me food and pat me to sleep

The endless nights and one song on loop

The broad chest that was always my haven

Your humour that always made me laugh

The silly fights, your daunting laziness

Every little thing that we did together

Every little thing that reminded me of us

The way you cried when my sanity took over

The way we broke it off, the way I ripped you apart

Maybe I would forgive myself someday

I know you have for you never hold grudges

I wish I could go back and change that one day

When my rationality took over and shuddered you to bits

I wish I could go back and say yes

When you begged holding my hand like a little kid

We all live on chances, how did I deny it for the love of my life?

Only to see him dead and I died within

People say moving on is easy

If only they could say how and make it happen

I wouldn’t be sitting here crying over the past

I wouldn’t be sitting here grieving about the chances we had

There were many who came and left

But you are the one and you will always be

For you are the love of my life, for you loved my darkness

You loved me for what I was and not what you wanted me to be

I loved you for the way you loved me, for I know you are a great human being

I am sure you are entertaining God there in heaven

If you happen to read this, tell him that I want him to give you that extra care

Coz you are so precious and wonderful,

like I always say you are the King and you deserve to be pampered

You always deserve the best, remember I love you and always will

For without you I am not who I am, I wouldn’t have come out of the cocoon

I wouldn’t have become this beautiful butterfly that I am

Fluttering my wings and flying around happily

Just know that I think of you everyday and I do miss you a lot

Coz you are irreplaceable my love, your place is always a big hollow in my heart!

You took a great piece of me with you to heaven

Keep it safe with you because that is the happy and carefree me!