Anger

Anger

When I was thinking for a word for the alphabet “A” there were so many things that came to my mind – Age, ambition, aspiration and many such. But then I thought I would convey a message through this blog. A message that I think should reach almost every single person who is short-tempered and lack patience with their loved ones. Anger is a very dangerous emotion of all, it has the power to break a relationship that was built over years. It beats everything that love created bit by bit over years, anger shudders it in a moment.

Now as I write this blog, I am thinking of an incident that happened 2 years back. Something that changed me from what I used to be. I am a very short tempered person. It is so easy to make me angry and when I am angry I don’t  think before I talk, I don’t see where I am or to whom I am talking to. I will not have control over the words I talk. Sometimes, the level of anger goes so high that I would be able to feel the blood gushing onto my face and ears. My whole body would tremble in anger. Still, I cannot do anything to control my anger I would just start yelling at the person. The worst part is when I angry with a person I start questioning the love they have for me. The type of relationship we shared for so many years. This is how I am rather this is how I used to be.

But then there was this particular incident that changed me. I had a very best friend at work, we don’t talk much anymore. Work, life and marriage happened to her. So we were having lunch together like any other day when we got into an argument and then I blasted her. I just spoke everything that came to my mind and she was really very quiet until I finished talking. I emptied a bottle full of water and then started talking like nothing happened a minute ago. When I say this now I cannot believe that I had been such an arrogant person. I did not even realize that my friend had stopped talking altogether the whole hour we were having lunch. After a while, she asked me, “Gayu, can I say you something?” I asked what it was to which she responded, “Try to think before you talk when you are angry because the words that come out of your mouth are venomous. You were yelling at me and it hurt me so much that I really feel so bad now that I don’t even want to talk you anymore”

I was shocked she said that. It felt like someone took a big rock and landed it on my head, breaking the skull. I am not exaggerating but that’s how I felt. When my friend said this she almost cried because I had hurt her so much. I don’t like to cry or see others cry and I made this girl, my best friend I love the most cry. I felt terrible. I was quiet the whole day. That evening when I spoke about this to my mom she told me that I am very arrogant and I should change myself otherwise I will end up losing a lot of people in life. Surely, I cannot afford losing the people I love. If anger was the worst part of my character, apologizing for what I did is a good habit that my parents made sure I learnt. It just comes to me very easily when I know that the mistake is on my side/sometimes not on my side too! (Enough of bragging now!)

The next day when I went to office the first thing I did was to apologize to my friend. All she did was to smile but that said it all. From then I decided that I will think before I talk even when I am not angry. I decided to choose the words I use and slowly it became a habit. Anger is a rare emotion I experience these days and when I get angry I remain silent. It is very difficult to pull a word from my mouth. My friends get the signal.

So, next time when you are angry with your loved ones watch out. Give it sometime, think and then when you have calmed down try to make them understand patiently about the thing that made you angry. I am sure they will understand.  Afterall, they love you J