Pages - Menu

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Hello Men, will you stop being such assholes?

Dear Men,

I don’t like to give great speeches on feminism or women rights. I have always tried to stay away from those talks because I always believed that men are sensible enough and they do know how to treat women the way she should be. Like, just another human being on earth who would like to co-exist in their own ways. The men in my life let me do what I want to do and I have always lived under their protection so I didn’t know how the outside world was until I had to go through certain things in the past few months. I am not generalizing but I think men who are sensible enough can understand what I mean in this letter.

I have been driving to office for the past few months. I ride a scooty and sometimes I try to go by car. I mostly take the scooty because it really helps me swim through the traffic faster. So, the problem starts the moment I hit the road. I have been ranting about this everywhere for quite sometime now. Men don’t like it if I overtake them. They get annoyed and there were many instances they tried to run me off the road. They want to overtake me even in the narrowest path, they threaten to run me off or they arrogantly come through even the little space they get or they wouldn’t stop honking I don’t know for what joy! Now I don’t understand why they do it! Initially, I had a really positive thinking (read stupid) that they think that scooty is going to take time to overtake a bus or car so they try to overtake me but no even if I travel in 60 (which is the max speed I could reach with my tiny beast) and if he travels in 40 I should go behind this a$%hole. If I overtake him he gets annoyed to no end and tries to prove that he is “THE MAN” Tell me, why this ego? I know I am a fairly good driver and not dumb as few girls I have come across myself. So what is wrong if a woman overtakes you? Why do you end up harassing her and threatening her until she lets you go so she can feel safe? Would you do this to the woman in your family?

Secondly, I went to a temple recently. This temple is THE masterpiece. I even wrote a blog on how magnificent the architecture is. So this temple has a museum, a very small one. My mother and I were looking at the old paintings in awe. This man who is supposedly the one who takes care of the museum called me to show a painting. I went to see it, he explained me the theme of it and his hand was continuously rubbing against my waist or back. I moved and somehow he managed to touch me. I was disgusted to no end so I stood beside my mother. We moved on to the next painting and again he stood next to me and somehow this man who is the age of my father wants to touch me. I left the place. But after going out I thought he should be taught a lesson. I went back in and asked him if he enjoyed touching my back and waist. He swore that, that was not his intention and it was a mistake. I smiled and asked him to think if he would accept it if the same happened to his daughter. I want to know, what pleasure you get in just touching a girl who is the age of your daughter? Do you ever think of your daughter when you do such things or is it because you assume and are confident that someone somewhere is not and will never do something like that to your daughter too?

Everytime you hurt your wife listening to your mother, do you ever think that the girl who is your wife now also goes to work, helps you financially and she has left her family and priorities behind for you? Will you do the same for her? Would you accept if your father treated your mother the way you treat your wife? Do you ever think?

Like I said, I don’t like to preach on how men should behave. I don’t want to do it because your mothers were supposed to do it. Sadly, she failed or you are failing her. I don’t want to get emotional and ask you to see your mother or sister in every woman. But before seeing woman as an object or before seeing her a competitor who is killing your ego I plead you to think if you will accept it if the same thing happened to the women in your life? Would you consider it acceptable? If your answer is yes, please go ahead. Inspite of all the short comings we are trying to co-exist. We are looking for ways to prove ourselves. I know life is not easy on you. Trust me; it has never been easy for us at all. All I request you is, live and let us live too. Please remember, we can get egoistic too, we can run you off the road too and I can proudly say that I have done it with my scooty to many men trust me I take no guilt infact I am very happy I did that. So yea, we could do it too. We just don’t want to or we are still scared but if you continue doing this we will give you a taste of what you have been doing to us. Stop being assholes!

From an extremely frustrated and disgusted woman.


  1. I do not know if m previous comment was published, but it just disappeared when the screen refreshed. Generally i feel lazy to type it over again, but this post is so relative to myself , I had no other way of not doing it.

    Applauds, because you did it gal, you confronted that man at the museum and made sure he realized his mistake.Many of us would have just been very shocked to talked to him regarding that thanks to the culture we live it. Elders are to be respected , right ?

    This aint feminism, its an outcome of helplessness. When you realize you live in a country whee a woman is goddess at one moment and an item at the other. I havee been through the situations you have said above, and i bet every woman in our country has been through it at least once . If only the frustration in every one of us comes out the way it just did in your case, this would have been a better place to SURVIVE.

    and as you said, CHARITY begins at home. our generation is going to produce another generation eventually and so lets HOPE, we see no such men then .

    1. Hey Mbai Madrasi! I am so happy that you took your time to type the comment all over again! :) Thank you for taking such pains. I hope things change. If eventually should right? :( I am a hopeless optimist so I can't stop hoping for the best! :D

  2. Hi Gayathri... I couldn't help but reply to your post... First of all I agree - men are as$holes. I have been one many a time. I guess it is the bloated ego we carry - how can a girl on a "puny" scooty overtake me on a "powerful" 350 CC bike...

    But there is also another reason. Men have this wrong idea than speeding up and overtaking the girl gets her attention and that somehow women are impressed by powerful bikes and stuff - all self created stupid ideas. With age some of these things go away. Apologies to all the women who would have thought of me the way you did... :p

    On your second incident - perverts deserve what you gave to that fellow. Kudos to you on taking that step - most people just let go and this silence is what encourages peverted asses!

    1. Mani, first of all you don't have to restrain from replying to the post :P Thanks a ton. Now, I love sports bike but I have started saying their prices should be bumped up because it is easily affordable to morons! Not done!! And on the second incident thank you again :) letting go off something that degrades me and thinks I am easy is not in my blood! :P


So, what do you think? :)