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Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Heart Vs Mind, Relationships

I am back with my most favourite topic! :D

A lot of gossips happen in the girl’s rest room, girls would agree with me and guys stop wondering and read on. I am a great observer. I admit that I love gossips. So yesterday I happened to hear (I did not overhear, I was busy fixing my smudged kajal and she was loud enough) a conversation of a girl with her boyfriend (I am assuming it is her boyfriend from her tone) so she was crying and making promises that she would do “anything” to keep him in her life. I think he did not budge on the other side so she finally said that she had attempted suicide a couple times too in the past weeks because she was going mad without talking to him. I cannot help but stare at her when I heard this. It is either my stare or the person on the other side said something really bad that made her go silent for few seconds. Well, sadly after this I left the restroom.

I agree that I am not emotionally stable as well and I go really mad if the person very close to my heart stops talking to me. But then recently I started analyzing the situation. I start thinking why I am so low and what makes me go mad when the other person is not ready to talk to me? These are the things that came to my mind. When I go insane and thoughts like hurting myself because someone picked a fight with me and is not talking or when someone has permanently left my life comes to my mind my heart takes control of the situation. The heart does not have the capability to analyze the situation, it cannot understand logic behind a fight(yes, there is logic). Whenever there is a fight all we need to do is give things some time and they are going to be back on track. It always has its own insecurities, it observes things from the past and makes you think that something similar to that is about to happen in the present as well.

Whereas the mind is the silent voice that keeps telling you logical things, like if a close friend fights with you and doesn't answer your phone. Your mind says, wait for some time things will come around. Your heart says, No if you leave this now things might go on forever and hamper the relationship. A sane part of you knows that the mind is right but we become a slave of the emotions and do what the heart says which complicates the situation. Now, I am not the type of person who supports logical thinkers but many a times I feel they live a happier life during these situations because they know to be level headed.

Secondly, I notice something in few relationships. After a point of time everything melts down to begging. We beg for attention because we feel insecure. We beg for love because we think the other person is drifting away from us. The fact is we have a very idle mind and it starts working at jet speed when we have something really very stupid to think of. I am a frequent victim of this turmoil and in such a situation very good friend of mine once said, “Our mind is a devil. It’s evil. You should never live it idle. Keep giving it something to think. You will not come up with stupid things like this and mess up with yourself” He was so true. Our mind is like a child, give it something to play with it will not disturb you.

Moreover, we are really good at assuming the wrong things. I think in a good relationship both partners understand and set each other free. Free of their egos, possessive, obsession and love. They live their lives individually together and they respect each other’s freedom. When you start respecting your partner and their space there will not be place for begging. If your partner loves you as much as you love them you wouldn’t have to beg them to stay. They will stay with you no matter what goes wrong. If you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you should be talking to each other 24/7! What will you talk all day? Makes me wonder! Although I have the capability to do that I will get bored to be stuck to a person all the time.

On the other hand, if a relationship doesn’t work out let go. Don’t beg a person to stay in your life they are not going to stay and there is no use of them to stay after putting you through so much. Remember, you are always very precious to you! Never lose your self-respect and dignity for another person. The moment you lose in a relationship, it has come to an end realize it and move on. So, let the person you love go. Maybe you deserve something better. Take examples from your past and you will realize it yourself that when something was taken away from you the next thing that was given to you would definitely be better than the old one. That’s how life works. Sometimes, it is good to leave things to a force that is greater and mightier than you and sometimes, it is good to let go. After, all the fight and chaos the peace of mind it gives you is the best feeling you will ever experience.

And while I was thinking of this last night, I read this quote by Preeti Shenoy (One of my favourite blogger and author)


  1. First of all facebook warned me- do you really want to visit this site? Its unsafe" made me curios and now i know are sharing others restroom romances...
    As you say- of course our mind is right and logical when it tells us to wait and not complicate things....but sometimes the mind ascts out of ego while the heart which urges us to take the first step regardless of the risk of further humiliation is a better judge of character than the cool logical mind...


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    1. But then sometimes, I think its ok to carry the ego and stay quiet. where there is true love ego vanishes as time goes by.. if it doesn't you have loads and loads of expectations in the relationship you will end up messing it up real bad! :)

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  4. Beautifully written. Our mind is evil. It can not stay calm for a moment and it can not live in the present even for few seconds. It assumes, manipulates and derives meanings. I like the way you've tagged the mind to a child. Give it something to play with, it will not bother you.

    Incidentally, I've written a blog post along similar lines today -

    I happened to read some of your other posts as well. I think I will get back here for reading more.

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So, what do you think? :)