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Saturday, 23 March 2013

Where are we? in No-love-All-Techy land!

I enjoy attending traditional weddings and functions. They are beautiful! The happiness aura, you can only see smiling faces. I always take a seat in the corner and observe the ritual and people. They run around greeting each other, form circles and gossip, admire and boast about their jewellery, exchange contacts, the long lost friends and cousins hug each other. I have seen few cry in happiness. How beautiful! Oh! I love weddings!

Today, I attended a wedding - a different one. A man who turned 70 remarried his wife again. I asked my mom about this custom. Why do they get married to each other again? She answered that it is to show the world that he is 70 years old and they are still happily married. How sweet! The old couple dressed up like bride and groom, sitting at the altar and for a change their children were running around greeting everybody. Their children were all grown up and have a family of their own. Their grandchildren were enjoying the occasion running around the wedding hall. It was a cute wedding. After the wedding got over they made the bride and groom sit on a chair and all the young ones, especially the couples took their blessings. There was an emotional moment when the groom started to cry and I teased him, ‘I know they got you trapped again with the same lady after so many years! It’s sad indeed’ he laughed heartily and to my surprise the bride blushed. OH-MY-GOD I have never seen such a romantic lovely wedding in my life.

As I sat there looking at the couple there was a thought lingering in my mind. While our elder generation had led such simple and uncomplicated life, how complicated have we made our lives!

Yes, we have made it very complicated. We don’t want to be committed to a person because we were hurt once. From friends with benefits to open relationship we adopted everything from the western culture that would make your life restless and complicated. We have made committed and being single a style statement. Honestly, we don’t know what we want out of a relationship or our life. We hurt ourselves and we hurt each other. We call it moving on but we never move on. We are still hurt and petrified from the past wounds that we fail to trust the people in future. We think we are better off alone but deep down always crave for that someone. We only try to fit in our past into the future and never attempt make fresh mistakes, learn from them and move on. We don’t trust the ones with whom we have spent a lifetime and ourselves. We are so impatient about everything and break down very easily. It is not the way it is these days, it is the way we have built ourselves into.

 As our lifestyles improved and as we grew more modern, our minds stopped working. We crave for money and all the materials. We give less value to people. We love a person today and we want them out of our lives the next day. We find it hard to forgive mistakes and carry guilt, rage and regrets. We stopped meeting friends. We meet them on whatsapp and Facebook. We live in a 16 inch gadget. Honestly, I have started hating smart phones because my friends have preferred chatting with me on whatsapp than talking to me. Infact over the past 3 weeks I have considered selling my phone a lot of times! I don’t want it anymore. I want people around me. I want to meet them every weekend. I want the life I was living without smartphones, facebook and whatsapp. I liked to read the news from the paper than on my tab. I hate ebooks it does not give the smell of a new book! Pathetic part of it we are missing the fun of shopping we have online shopping!! No way!

We don’t really understand what we are missing in life. We have become a slave of technology although its good in lot of ways that it lets us stay in touch with our loved ones who are far away, it does distance them in reality! I was wondering if I would find my Mr. Perfect and even if I do, would we tolerate each other for such a long time as these old couple. I don’t know!

We really need to reconsider the way we live! Yes, we do. 



  1. I should appreciate the frankness with which you have made your point. But then, you miss a basic point - Human beings are inherently pathetic, either with technology or without.

    The forced marriages and forcible living together (due to fear of the society) creates slaves. Not cute sweet couples. It's strange that you choose to see only the sweetness behind people greeting each other in the wedding and not the hypocrisy, as no one cares about the other in the real world. Unless of course, there is some 'mutual' benefit or one wants to boast about their achievements.

    Our offline attitude has just carried over to our online profiles. The grass is never greener on the other side. Grow up.


  2. hi gayatri..well part of it is true but not all depends on ur experience..different strokes for different folks i guess..

    1. Thank you for dropping a comment :)

  3. I seriously am awestruck by the way my Grandparents, parents and aunts and uncles maintain their marriage of so many years, when we compare them with the on-off relationships that happen today. We tend to get ourselves hurt for even the simplest of things and compromise is not at all a word in our dictionary! Sad!

    1. yes! Thank you for the comments ashwini :)

  4. I think you have ended up mixing two things here :)
    The first one where you talk about relationships and the second one about technology.
    For the first, I feel it depends on how you look at it. There was good and bad back then too. There's good and bad with the new kinds of relationships too. Yes, as you say in 'olden' times there were more tolerance levels, people actually worked at relationships to make them successful. But then there were those sorts of relationships too where people stayed only because they had no other choice - financial dependence, emotional dependence, stigma. Doesn't mean everyone who stayed together was happy. Now, financial and emotional independence is letting people live their lives with more self respect. Of course, tolerance levels have fallen drastically too and people switch companions faster than they switch cell phones. But I guess, pros and cons exist everywhere.
    As far as the second part goes, I am with you to a certain extent. I hate the fact that life has moved to Facebook or Whatsapp. I like to catch up with friends directly or even write emails when they stay far. On one hand, where important inventions are helping health, mankind, etc, on the other hand technology has also started to consume us. It has to be a conscious decision, I feel, that we do not let ourselves get consumed by it rather use it only where required.

    1. Actually when I read it again I think yes I failed miserably to give the link between the two. I have actually ranting endlessly on the blog! That's the outcome of it! Thank you for the comment Deepa :)

    2. LOL. I love ranting too and do this all the time :) We're the same :) I was reading your post again, life's so confusing isn't it! What's good, what's bad - relationships so complex! Sigh!

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So, what do you think? :)