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Friday 7 June 2013

The Drift

Good morning J she sent a text lying on the bed with one eyes open and slept back again. When she woke up there was a text in reply. Good morning! Late to office run!! She smiled and replied haha! Run! She left to office and continued with her routine. She gets a message in the evening, Back home what are you doing? Come on Facebook. She got a text from him again she logged into facebook and they started chatting for hours about nothing and everything.

“Ma’m, you reached home” The driver told her who was lost in her thoughts. She picked her bags and got off the car. She walked into an empty house, dropped her bags on the couch and picked her phone. The text she sent him in the morning was still unanswered. She checked her facebook updates and saw him online in the chat. She smiled and kept her phone aside.

This was her routine. She waited everyday for him to text her himself but it never happened. Finally, she would text him herself just to keep the friendship alive. It starts with hi and a few regular questions. Then there was emptiness, they wouldn’t have much to talk, not that he never made the efforts to be in touch. But things changed, he changed which was not obvious to him but to her. She called him just so she can at least be happy about having a pointless conversation by end of the day. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, there was a long silence after a lot of hesitation she said, ‘I text you in the morning’

She was more afraid to talk to him these days because he didn’t have the patience to answer or listen to her anymore. They were not the type of people they used to be. Free to talk, free to question and free to say what they want to each other.
‘I was busy’ he said.
‘OK’ She replied. She knew he was never busy enough not to reply to her text but that was past. This is a new person she didn’t know. The person whom she was afraid to talk to, she controlled her tears and asked about his day.

‘I am feeling low today’ She said.
‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘Today is the day when my first love proposed me. We used to be together every year and now he is gone’ She choked.
‘Move on!’ He muttered something under his voice.
‘What did you say?’ She asked.

‘Nothing’ came a very strong reply. She felt bad yet did not say because she knew it would irritate him.

She didn’t want to tell him that she was not low because of the reason she told him and that she had moved on long back. How could she tell him that she was trying to get his attention and she was low because he always made time for her, to chat with her, to tell her everything that happened in his life without her asking him? He would be by her side all the time during the good and bad times. He was her fan and he was always there for her. She didn’t have to look around because she knew he was there. She wanted her friend back, the friend she knew. A friend who will keep nagging her all the time no matter what happened. That friend who will text her every morning and evening to tell her that he reached office and home. That friend who will keep talking to her all the time.

Maybe she lost him, maybe it is the new life and the new people who is keeping him busy. Maybe he will come back or he might not like the other friends she had lost in her life. She stopped telling him her real feelings however she wrote pages and pages of letters to him. Letters that said how much she missed him and the good old days, how much she longed for things to be like how it used to be, how much angry she is for him being this totally new person whom she hated. Those effortless communication and staying in touch. There was no waiting because they were always there for each other.

‘I really miss you a lot. We should meet sometime’ She said and there was no response. He had already fallen asleep. ‘Good night.’ She said and disconnected the phone.

She went back to writing a letter and reading the already written letters. But today, she wrote only 2 sentences.

“I miss you more, but I will wait until you come back. Going AWOL” 

Dedicated to all those who miss your friends and the good old days! :)

8 comments:

  1. Interesting indeed. Am sure many of us have gone through similar situations. There is something always that acts as a turning point in each relation. And somehow pinpointing to it is very difficult. And yet when ehat probably should not have been said was, things somehow no longer are the same and people change.

    We dwell, then we grow past it. but what it does do is scars a part of you to never relive a similar relation again, the fear of losing, the ache that it causes, you want the pain to go away!

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    Replies
    1. So true! Thank you For the comment and visit :)

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  2. I can relate to this post very well but I guess I'm at the wrong end. Let's conveniently blame it on being a Gemini and the Mercury!

    Manish

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    Replies
    1. OH-MY-GOD! Geminian *runs away* :P. On a serious note, you are making a huge mistake Manish! You will realize that it's too late when the person is long gone and you still want them :)

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  3. Did you write about me and my current phase of life? Have you installed a camera in my bedroom?

    I remembered this quote from a book I read not long ago "In the end, it’s not the changes that will break your heart; it’s that tug of familiarity." Things we used to do together are no longer the same without them. And revisiting the memory of how it used to be with them is the only we can do, sometimes.

    Love
    Gayathri (the other one) from http://musings-over-nothing.blogspot.in/

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    Replies
    1. Lol.. No way! This is the phase of my life actually and I cannot agree more! When the people once close to your heart behave like strangers can there be something more heart wrecking..? actually those are the times I want the memories to erode and forget everything that happened. :)

      thank you for the visit!

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