There are times I would want to say a hundred things to someone, that someone could be someone I love, a friend, a colleague even a neighbor (Yes! I have something to tell my neighbor that his dog is extremely annoying and I would want to put a bullet to its head everytime it barks!) but I don’t say. So today I thought how much have I changed from what I was and what I have been. I thought I am leading a life that is so aimless and monotonous. I had spent so many days crying for someone who will never come, most importantly never care! I had spent so many days being lazy when I could have actually learnt something or at least met someone but I never did, because I was lazy and I was contented sitting at home watching the TV. Then last night I was thinking what could have possibly changed me to a person who don’t want to make an attempt to have anything at all in life. There is someone I love but I am not sure if he knows that I do, there is a friend with whom I was angry with I never told her that I was angry with her let alone tell her the reason.
Everytime I see a movie (bollywood or kollywood movie to be more specific) and if the mutual friends of the hero and heroine tell them how much the other person loves them, boom! They are so happy and they reconcile or start their affair afresh so I start thinking, ‘wish I had friends like that’ so stupid isn’t it? Why should my friends take the pain of telling my love? I am sure they have better things to do in life. Then there are times that we think so much to say something to a friend that after a point of time you get so tired thinking you give up saying that something to your friend. It's much easier that way. But by doing so we never realize that the problem stays and we are the ones who are running away from it.
Why do we start hesitating to say the person you love that you them? Be it a friend or a person you just met (yes, I believe in love at first sight)! It is the fear of rejection, or fear of anger or fear of argument or fear of difference. But to overcome that fear you have go through it. To get to the other side of the river you have to swim. This was the solution my heart gave me. I have great respect for what my heart says and when I do that the sense of satisfaction I get is immense. And so from today, I decided that I will tell everybody what I feel especially if I have a disagreement or if I love that person I will tell them. They might get shocked in the beginning but they will eventually try to understand.
I have lost so many people because I never expressed what I felt for them and suddenly I thought why am I holding back my feelings? I never used to be like this! He is the person I love so he should know! My friends are supposed to know what I feel about them, they will understand! I won't be lazy anymore I am going to learn swimming, join the yoga class and check everything on my to-do list one after another. I am not going to waste my time and my life anymore. As you grow you start realizing that we have very little time and so many wishes to fulfill, better do it now than regret later, so I am going to get fully kick started now! I have already made plans to meet a long lost friend next weekend and we are going to have lunch together. I am not going to put off things anymore. I have promised myself and I will keep it up.
I am sure many of you are "expecting" the other person to tell you what they feel about you, you are waiting for things to happen, being lazy in front of the TV, putting things off to next weekend and you have no idea when the next weekend would come.
Haul your ass guys! It's time you stop waiting and time to go get it ! I am all set, are you?