Confused and Afraid

Sturdy was the thought,
Hard it was to resist,
painful it was to let go
I try hard to move on
The more farther I go
The more closer it comes
I run from my memories

A battle within me
Why don't you just let go!
Stop holding onto it
And stop getting back it
love was cruel to you
it gave you wounds
it ripped you apart
I don't want it again
be wise and try to apprehend
don't be deceived,
for it is just a delusion
It is not abiding

Happy I am to be alone
sad it is at times
I hope to be freed
but no, not through love
Maybe trapped I am forever
for there is no true love
no adulation, no real bond
Oh! I am afraid to love again
cause I know there will be nothing left
but pain, nothing new yet it is delightful
To be pampered and loved
To be taken care of and prioritized
Yet I am afraid to love..
I am afraid of the pain
Happy I am to be alone
Satisfied I am to be detached!